What you can control

It’s easy to get into funks about the state of our lives. Our lives have many components and there’s usually at least one of those pieces that’s off-kilter. And with the global economy the way it is, let’s brace ourselves – things will get worse on some dimensions for sure.

The only way to get through it is to focus on what you can control and ride the rest of it the best you can.

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” – Brian Tracy

The same is true for negative people who are in your life. Negative people can drain your energy, but it is your choice whether you have them in your life and how you deal with them. I chose to cut out a lot of the negative people from my life (some still stalk me on my blog!) But letting negative people change who you fundamentally are is letting them win. If they make you wary and untrusting when you are fundamentally a trusting, open person, then they win. So screw them, cut them out and live your life.

Is this hard advice to follow? Sure. It’s very hard for me and I struggle at times to remain positive and ignore the negative. But it’s the only way you can remain true to yourself and be happy.

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  • Always a good advice! A good friend told me once.

    The world is made up of 3 types of events.
    1) events that I have control
    2) events that I have influence
    3) everything else
    And always be on the look out for opportunity to bring events closer.

    For the negative people in my life, I can choose to cut them out, I can choose to be a positive influence for them, and I can choose to do nothing and ignore them.

    I hope you find the peace that you desire!

  • When I say “cut them out”, I mean do nothing and ignore them.

    Finding peace is a daily effort… 🙂

  • Eileen

    hello, it's me stalking you again. LOL – seriously, love this post as I just ended a 17 yr old friendship for exactly the reasons you listed – the psychic energy to be w/her was too great. The interesting part is that she was the one who initiated the falling out by leaving me in a store – when only an hour before she was pontificating about passive/aggressive behavior – ironic. I chose then to end it… and her self-righteous rant she emailed me about my lack of response sealed the deal – I must admit she made it easy, and a heavy burden has been lifted out of my life – free at last!

  • Yes ma'am!
    🙂

    I hope G and J are enjoying sights and sounds in India
    ..and this post hits home. So thanks again.

  • LOL. And good for you! It's hard to be bold and take the step, but once you do, it is awesome 🙂

  • You are very welcome!

    And yes, so far they are having quite a fun time here – so many new experiences.

  • Indeed, in today's harsh climate (literally and figuratively) it is very important to focus on the positives in life, if one wants to lead a happy life!

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  • Can totally relate to this. In fact, it is recommended that we cull our facebook (or other such networking sites) friends' list once in a while….or as Robin Sharma put it, do a clean sweep and get on with life. But I guess it's easier said than done …..specially in countries like India where people (are relatively more tolerant?) still don't mind living in each other's pockets.

  • ra

    hear hear! it's hard to do, especially with close family…but ignoring is a good way!

  • PK

    This post reminds me of a quote of Edith Wharton's that is the best definition of resilience –

    In spite of illness, in spite even of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.

  • PK

    This post reminds me of a quote of Edith Wharton's that is the best definition of resilience –

    In spite of illness, in spite even of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in small ways.